I’ve been thinking a lot about death. Maybe it’s because I’ve been confronted with it more in the last year than i ever remember being before.

Maybe it’s because I’m reaching that point in life when I find myself standing on the brink of mortality. As a child, I was fortunate enough to never have faced death, and as a teenager – like most of my friends – I felt invincible. While I never wanted to challenge the universe, I somehow I felt like this definitely wasn’t my Time.

Now, however, everything is changing. The more I encounter mortality, the more I discover my relationship with it, and I find it takes a lot of courage to kindle a strong one.

At this point, the mere mention of a friend lost – or worse – a parent lost, brings me to tears. A lump as big as a coconut rises in my throat, dense and heavy as lead. It’s all part of the process, I think. Life is relationships. Even with the abstract. There’s a connection I feel to and with the universe, and that includes a soul’s passage through life cycles.

I’m on the brink of my next cycle, and it’s a humbling one. As a heart breaks, so it rebuilds stronger. Here we go.

[ i n d i g o ]